disability gear

Sometimes I wish my disability was more visable.

Even as I say this it makes me curious at the irony because anyone who knows me, KNOWS that I very much dislike using my mobility aides.

I am a walking conundrum.

I want courtesey and kindness and understanding, but doesn't everyone?

shouldn't everyone be entitled to that, not just those with disabilities?

I don't ask for automatic respect, I don't want it. I don't want respect for being a person with a disability out in the world. I believe respect is earned and if it is given without truly knowing a person it can lead to putting that person on a pedestals. I do not wish to be on a pedestals ever. 

But when people are unkind to me because they do not know I am disabled and they think I am just moving lazily or that I am stupid, that is just not acceptable and it is very scaring to a person.
I had a situation in the train that has happened copious amounts of times without incident. I am cognitively impaired, meaning sometimes I have problems processing or remembering details, so I forgot my information of my reservation to go on the train. Generally it is not an issue and I usually just give them my name and they look up the information and print my ticket. 

I had a problem on Wednesday though, I had a very difficult to deal with train employee who was obviously on a bit of a power trip.

I didn't tell him I was a person with a disability, He wouldn't have cared.

I didn't tell him I had done this before without incident, He wouldn't have cared.

I let him rant on about the laziness of youth in the world today. 

I wish people would realize that the way they treat others affects them, even writing this many days later is causing me pain. 

The look of discust and the feeling of worthlessness that that man made me feel is not acceptable. NOT ACCEPTABLE!!

I know I have worth, thanks and all glory in my life is to God, but these things still bother me and it bothers me that people think it is ok to treat people that way.
Somedays I feel like wearing a sandwich board saying I may look fine and normal but if they could see inside my brain it would be an entirely different situation! 
I will be filing a complaint, I have prayed about it and I realized that that man will make others feel bad again and again because maybe no one has told him it is wrong. I pray for patience and grace to explain the situation calmly and efficiently without anger.

Thanks for reading my ramble.
Soli Deo Gloria