Daisies

As a little girl I'd play the game as most little girls do.

I'd sit on the lawn and pluck a perfect daisy from the ground.

he loves me, smile, thinking of a future boyfriend or having someone specific in mind, depending on the year.

he loves me not, frown, but sure that the daisy was right, he didn't love me, couldn't.

"NO ONE COULD EVER LOVE YOU!" the voice in my head would scream, sounding remarkably like my parents " your broken, disabled, ugly, stupid, hateful. no one will ever love you or want to be with you, who would want to date or marry a disabled girl, a stupid girl, a fat girl, a short girl? no-one! that's who!"

It's taken me a long time to tone down that inner voice of learned thoughts (not true thoughts), some days are still a waged battle warring in my head.

Trying to pick the perfect flower with the perfect amount of petals so the answer would always be "he loves me"

Trying to find that perfect flower is like trying to find a perfect man, completely suited to you, that is a daunting job, but not for God.

When you put away your childhood, you put away childish things, that game as well goes in a back closet of my mind but never quite forgotten.

But I have new daisies now, ones with half as many petals, every other petal is missing, the 'he loves me not' ones have mysteriously dissappeared.

Love blindsided me early one morning in December, well even before that I think.

it's not my doing.

it's not his doing.

It is a plan that only can be attributed to God. We praise Him for our relationship and give all glory to the one that made us.

I am smitten.

I am twitterpated.

I am a woman in love.

I never thought that would be me, I thought it was impossible for me. I was told it was impossible.

IMPOSSIBLE!

Nothing is impossible for God.

Soli Deo Gloria

REformed Girl

Love

This week I will try to be blogging about love :)

Not because of Valentines day, which is a completely brilliant marketing scheme and which I don't celebrate. But because of a challenge issued at one of my fav blogs called Chewing The Fat by Dave, I will blog about love and disability.

I think you shouldn't have one day in a year where you show people you love them, but try everyday to show Christ's love to everyone, everyday.

So I will start tomorrow.

blogging that is

not loving

I'll do that everyday! :)

Soli Deo Gloria!
REformed Girl

PS thank you to all my subscribers! :) I can't believe I have 10! this blog started as something I wasn't sure I would enjoy but I really do enjoy it! I enjoy your comments (hint hint) and your company!
Thanks!

Friends and their working dogs

I am thinking and praying for my friend Wallis as she started Team Training for her Canine Companions for Independance yesterday!
She will be gaining independance with the help of a new furry companion and I couldn't be more excited about it!
I have the paperwork at home to fill out to possibly get my own dog but I have many doubts about whether or not I will be accepted.
Have a wonderful time Wallis! This is a huge blessing for you!
Soli Deo Gloria
REformed Girl

proud frontline worker

I am a front line worker

I see it everyday

the valientcy of life

and living everyday.

I am a front line worker

the one who hears the hurts

I see the beauty

where "the others" see no worth

I am a front line worker

people say I'm special to do this

but I'm not really anything much

this is why I exist

I am a front line worker

I get paid with triumphs and smiles

when I help someone to learn independence

or help them dress with style

I am a front line worker

I get mad when people just don't get it

that the people I care for, are people

give them a little credit

WE are front line workers

WE make no decisions

that is for "the higher-ups"

WE ALL just have to live it!

This is a poem written in frustration on behalf of the many "front line" workers of people with developmental disabilities and more importantly the people themselves who have to trudge though rules and royal decrees by people in offices who don't do what we do, who don't know our clients as well and who are downright punitive at times.

Rules and decrees that smash down quality of life in favour of a life watered down for our clients.

I am disgusted. I am angry.

I am saying enough!

Soli Deo Gloria

a very angry (at the moment) REformed girl

Have you hugged a calvinist today?

I am a calvinist.

I believe in TULIP and follow the 5 Solas with every fibre of my being.

When I tell people I am a calvinist, they say, "No, you aren't! are you? you're too nice to be a Calvinist!"

I chuckle about this every time but then I wonder, in our rigidity of doctrine and Sola Scriptura, do we forget the people we are dealing with, in relationship with, living with are also people who require our kindness.

we don't have to agree on doctrine, (or lack thereof) and I am not saying one can never be rude or have a bad day, but we need to treat people nicely.

I , too, have met my fare share of unkind people who happen to be calvinists, that is why I am filled with such wonder and praise that God kept working on my heart to reveal the truth of the gospel to me, because the first peoples I have met in my life who are calvinists had nothing but distain for me as a catholic.

I am just saying lets try not to tar and feather all people of a particular group as the same. 

We are told not to stereotype people but so far what I have heard is that it is ok to stereotype calvinists, hence the statement, "you're too nice to be a Calvinist!"

so my question to you is.................................

Have you hugged a Calvinist today?

Soli Deo Gloria

REformed Girl

tall kids and short me

I love children.
Being a little person (yes I am 4'9"1/2) kids seem to relate to me in a unique way and I love it.
When I meet up with a child that I have known for a while, my first question is "Are you taller than me yet?"
My nephew once asked me why I ask this and why I was so excited once he was taller than me (for the record I think he was 10 when he was taller than me, my almost 8 year old neice is almost there)
I always say "I am glad you are growing, both in height and in mind, you are growing into the beautiful person God has planned for you to be. I didn't grow in the regular way when I was growing up and I am very glad to see that you are. I thank God for you and your healthy growth" (or something along those lines)
occassionally I get questions about what it was like not to grow "properly" or if it makes me sad.
I am rarely sad and never about my health situation(s).
God made me this way, why would I complain?

Soli Deo Gloria

REformed Girl

bring on the rain

this has become one of my new favorite songs.

here are the lyrics:

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that 
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings 
You glory And I know there'll 
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to 
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may 
loom above because you are much greater than 
my pain you who made a way for me suffering 
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain 

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings 
You glory And I know there'll 
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to 
praise You Jesus, bring the rain
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing 

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings 
You glory And I know there'll 
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to 
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

everybody singing 
Holy holy holy
you are holy 
you are holy 

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings 
You glory And I know there'll 
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to 
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

it's become all I want to say right now.

Soli Deo Gloria

REformed Girl